I keep telling myself to write this blog. I’m supposed to write this blog, this big brave blog that holds me accountable for my own bullshit. But whenever I get serious about such accountability, I want to wallow in my own bullshit, I want to roll around in it and make friends with my own bullshit. Instead of writing this inspirational post where I call myself out, I just want to write bad poetry that resembles bad 90s alternative songs. It would go something like this: You don’t know what it’s like. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE. Or something sappy, yet smooth like, “I will not be idled with despair….” And yet.
Self awareness is hard; it’s much easier to just wallow. I will try my best.